I DON'T WANT TO BE BORN (1975)
Director: Peter Sasdy
Starring: Joan Collins, Ralph Bates, Eileen Atkins, Donald Pleasence, Caroline Munro, John Steiner
Joan Collins is an ex-stripper whose affair with her former boss might be the reason she’s had a possessed baby. The little brat bites and scratches everyone, pulls the head off his doll and puts a dead mouse in the housekeeper’s cup of tea but then gets really nasty when he pushes nanny into the duck pond and kills her. Thank heavens Joan’s sister-in-law is a nun who knows how to perform exorcisms! Other highlights from this hilarious Rosemary’s Baby rip-off include Joan’s strip routine (in which she doesn’t take off any clothes), a randy dwarf and a supporting cast of desperados including former Bond girl Caroline Munro (who’s been dubbed) and Ralph Bates as Joan’s Italian husband (who should have been dubbed). Bring your mum. I dare you.