BEYOND THE DOOR (1974)

Director: Ovidio G. Assonitis
Starring: Juliet Mills, Richard Johnson, Gabriele Lavia, Nino Segurini, Elizabeth Turner, David Colin Jnr

Juliet Mills (from “Nanny and the Professor” and “Passions”) has an affair with a Satanist (played by Richard Johnson from “Zombie Flesh Eaters”) and finds herself knocked up with the Devil’s baby. Pretty soon she’s levitating, swearing and walking around San Francisco eating banana skins off the street. This Italian rip-off of “The Exorcist” was directed by the man behind “Tentacles” and “Piranha 2: Flying Killers” (God bless him) and is a total hoot from start to finish. And don’t worry about getting scared. That’s more likely to happen if you put a sheet over your head and look in a mirror.

When: Friday April 4 2014 @ 7.30pm
Where: Cinema Nova 380 Lygon Street Carlton
Bookings:
http://www.cinemanova.com.au/catalogue/cinema-fiasco/

And you thought your pregnancy was tough!

And you thought your pregnancy was tough!

HOWLING 2: YOUR SISTER IS A WEREWOLF (1985)

Director: Philippe Mora
Starring: Christopher Lee, Sybil Danning, Reb Brown, Annie McEnroe, Ferdy Mayne,
Marsha A. Hunt

How could any movie live up to a title as ridiculous as this? Let me assure you it’s every bit as ridiculous and more. All of the actors are terrible (even Christopher Lee), the werewolf make-up is really fake, there is a shithouse punk band, every third character is a dwarf and, during an extended mega-mix finale, a shot of Sybil Danning ripping open her top to reveal her boobs is repeated about 18 times. The high point of the film comes when Sybil and a couple of others turn into werewolves and have a werewolf ménage a trois. Totally bitchin’!

When: Friday April 11 2014 @ 7.30pm
Where: Cinema Nova 380 Lygon Street Carlton
Bookings:
http://www.cinemanova.com.au/catalogue/cinema-fiasco/

An expression that truly says it all.

An expression that truly says it all.

HOUSEBOAT HORROR (1989)

Directors: Kendal Flanagan, Ollie Martin
Starring: Alan Dale, Christine Jeston, Craig Alexander, Des McKenna, Gavin Wood, John Michael Howson

A bunch of talentless bogans (sporting killer mullets and bad perms) drive up to Lake Eildon to film a pop video and get chopped up by a maniac with a machete. This legendary Aussie splatter movie has awful dialogue and sensationally bad acting (especially from former Countdown announcer Gavin Wood) and is one of the funniest things you'll ever see. True to the genre there are gory killings aplenty but the real horror is generated by an endless parade of hideous 80's knitwear and the Brian Mannix "hit" songs on the soundtrack. The few boobs on display will make you feel like you're perving on your mum.

When: Friday April 18 2014 (Good Friday - and it will be!) @ 7.30pm
Where: Cinema Nova 380 Lygon Street Carlton
Bookings:
http://www.cinemanova.com.au/catalogue/cinema-fiasco/

Hatchet man Zlatko in action.

Hatchet man Zlatko in action.

CAN’T STOP THE MUSIC  (1980)

Director: Nancy Walker
Starring:  Steve Guttenberg, Valerie Perrine, Bruce Jenner, Paul Sand, The Village People

A New York City songwriter (played by Steve Guttenberg, the worst leading man of all time!) auditions a bunch of butch types to sing his songs and finds fame and fortune as the father of the Village People. This jaw-dropping disco spectacular is probably the campest movie ever made and certainly the gayest. The musical numbers include a memorable trip to the YMCA, everyone acts like they’re on amyl and the finale takes place – where else? – San Francisco! Despite all these enticements the movie was a huge flop worldwide– except Australia. But then we know the importance colour and movement, don’t we?

When: Friday May 2 2014 @ 8.00pm
Where: Astor Theatre 1 Chapel Street St Kilda
Tickets available at the door

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