Director: Nicholas Webster.  Cast: John Call, Leonard Hicks, Vincent Beck, Bill McCutcheon, Victor Stiles, Donna Conforti, Chris Month, Pia Zadora

Martians (armed with freeze guns and a robot made of cardboard boxes) kidnap Santa Claus and spirit him back to Mars in an attempt to cheer up their miserable offspring. If you like your Christmas movies creepy (and who the hell doesn’t?) this is the best yuletide cinematic experience going – and I haven’t overlooked “Silent Night Deadly Night” or “Christmas Evil” in making such an outrageous statement. The movie looks like it was shot in someone’s bedroom and its many incidental pleasures include a cast that might have been recruited from a police line-up, a title song bellowed by a chorus of musically-challenged urchins and double-whammy Razzie Award winner Pia Zadora in her star-making role as a Martian kiddie. The scene in which a couple of kids are attacked by a man in a polar bear suit is worth the price of admission alone. Perfect Christmas fare for the whole family – especially if the kids have been naughty.

WHEN: December 4 2015 @ 8.00pm

WHERE: Astor Theatre 1 Chapel Street St Kilda