Director: Luca Bercovici Starring: Lisa Pelikan, Peter Liapis, Jack Nance, Mariska Hargitay, Bobbie Bresee
The unknowing progeny of devil-worshiping parents inherits the family home. After discovering a stash of black magic books, he conjures up a pair of evil dwarf minions, his nasty old dad and a horde of slimy rubber hand puppets called Ghoulies. There are plenty of 80s fashion statements but the horror doesn’t stop there as the Ghoulies go on the rampage, watching the hero have sex with his girlfriend and jumping out of soup tureens and the toilet to attack people. The scene in which a succubus strangles a guy with her really long tongue is the best.
Friday 5 December 2014 @ 7.30pm CINEMA NOVA 380 Lygon Street Carlton
MUSCLE BEACH PARTY (1964)
Director: William Asher Starring: Frankie Avalon, Annette Funicello, Luciana Paluzzi, John Ashley, Don Rickles
It wouldn’t be a Cinema Fiasco summer without one of Frankie and Annette’s awful beach party movies and this one has everything you’d expect and more. The gang head back to the beach for another summer of bikinis, butt-wiggling and bad jokes but find their turf overrun by bodybuilders in hot pink capes. Then a horny Italian countess flies in to check out the beefcake, takes a shine to Frankie and campy complications ensue. Stevie Wonder and Dick Dale make musical cameos, Candy Johnson knocks surfers off their boards with her perpetual motion dance moves and Don Rickles plays a guy called Jack Fanny. And, no, I didn’t make that up.
Friday 9 January 2015 @ 7.30pm CINEMA NOVA 380 Lygon Street Carlton
PIRANHA 2: FLYING KILLERS (1981)
Director: James Cameron Starring: Tricia O’Neill, Steve Marachuk, Lance Henriksen, Ricky Paull Goldin
The renowned director of this opus called it “the finest flying piranha movie ever made” and I agree. Genetically modified piranhas spill into the ocean, rape some flying fish and produce the murderous mutants of the title. Piranha pandemonium ensues as the ferocious fish chow down on holiday makers at a local beach resort. The attack scenes are very special, the flying piranha effects even better, a couple of topless chicks get bumped off and Lance Henriksen appears as the sheriff in all his grouchy glory. The movie’s highlight however is the climactic assault on the annual fish fry in which extras march down the beach chanting “We want fish!” before being seen off en masse. A lot of people call this Cameron’s worst movie (not that he directed all that much of it) but it’s a lot more fun than “Avatar” and considerably shorter. “We want fish! We want fish!”
Friday 6 February 2015 @ 7.30pm CINEMA NOVA 380 Lygon Street Carlton
Director: Paul Verhoeven Starring: Elizabeth Berkeley, Gina Gershon, Kyle Maclachlan, Glenn Plummer
Some call it the worst movie ever made but really it's one of the funniest. A beautiful but obnoxious drifter wanders into Las Vegas looking to find fame and fortune as a showgirl. She does but only after being molested by various sleazebags and lesbians, having sex in a swimming pool, licking a few poles and mispronouncing the name of a major (and hardly obscure) fashion label. The guilty pleasures come thick and fast with pages and pages of camp dialogue ("I studied in New York - Alvin Ailey!") and performances to die for! Maclachlan looks like he's never acted before in his life and you haven't lived until you've seen Berkeley throwing her french fries around during a tantrum in a fast food restaurant. With over-the-top productions numbers, lots of lap-dancing and wall-to-wall boobs, this is one you won't want to miss.
FINAL ASTOR SHOW
Friday March 20 2015 @ 8pm Astor Theatre 1 Chapel Street St Kilda
Tickets at the door