OUR COMING ATTRACTIONS
Director: Claudio Fragasso.
Starring: Michael Stephenson, George Hardy, Margo Prey
A perfectly awful family goes to a small town and encounters a bunch of goblins who want to turn them into plants and eat them. This bogus sequel (made by Italians after a quick lira) has bad acting, camp dialogue (“Joshua is not a little shit. He’s just sensitive!”) and make-up effects that must have cost all of $20 but goes beyond your ordinary bad movie thanks to a lunatic quality that infuses everything about it. A must see. It’s quite possibly the FUNNIEST BAD MOVIE EVER MADE
CINEMA FIASCO TROLL 2 TOUR DATES:
SUNDAY 2 JULY @ 5PM QUEANBEYAN PERFORMING ARTS CENTRE 253 CRAWFORD ST QUEANBEYAN
TUESDAY 4 JULY @ 7.30PM THE CUBE WODONGA 118 HOVELL ST WODONGA
HOUSEBOAT HORROR (1989)
Directors: Ollie Martin, Kendall Flanagan
Starring: Alan Dale, "Animal", Gavin Wood, John Michael Howson
A bunch of talentless bogans (sporting killer mullets and bad perms) drive up to Lake Eildon to film a pop video and get chopped up by a maniac with a machete. This legendary Aussie splatter movie has awful dialogue and sensationally bad acting (especially from former Countdown announcer Gavin Wood) and is one of the funniest things you'll ever see. True to the genre there are gory killings aplenty but the real horror is generated by an endless parade of hideous 80's knitwear and the Brian Mannix "hit" songs on the soundtrack. The few boobs on display will make you feel like you're perving on your mum.
WHERE: HAYDEN ORPHEUM PICTURE PALACE 380 MILITARY ROAD CREMORNE NSW
WHEN: FRIDAY 30 JUNE 2017 @ 8.45PM
THE OMEN (1976)
Director: Richard Donner
Cast: Gregory Peck, Lee Remick, David Warner, Patrick Troughton, Billie Whitelaw, Holly Palance, Harvey Stephens
Robert Thorn is the American ambassador to Great Britain. He and his wife are so desperate for a child that when their baby is stillborn Ambassador Thorn picks up another one from a sleazy priest in Rome and guess who little Damien turns out to be? Oh, God! No! The Anti-Christ! This big budget horror opus was a popular chiller in its day but in hindsight is one hell of a hoot and a holler. The big name stars are hilariously angst-ridden and afforded excellent support from a scenery-chewing cast of venerable Brits and the kid is the kind you’d never get sick of shaking. Religious significance is omnipresent and there’s a lot of Catholic mumbo jumbo but the main attraction is the mayhem unleashed as various characters cotton on to Damien’s terrible secret. There’s a hanging at a children’s birthday party, an impaling by church spire, a beheading by a sheet of glass, attacks by baboons, a Rottweiler and British nanny and the shocking revelation that Damien’s mother “was a jack…” The great score by Jerry Goldsmith won an Oscar but you probably won’t hear it for laughing so much. Listed in “The 50 Worst Movies of All Time” but it’s probably not that bad. Tom Cruise has made a lot of movies since that book was published.
FRIDAY JULY 14 @ 8PM - ASTOR THEATRE 1 CHAPEL STREET ST KILDA